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Wednesday, January 05, 2005

TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS

All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Wednesday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» YELLED! Wife Swap Special: The Obedient Wife Edition, Channel 4, 9.00pm
We think that the scratching sound we can hear in the distance is every feminist in the UK sharpening the nearest machete in anticipation of this programme - obedient wife Bonnie from Peterborough, who cooks and cleans and attends to her husband's every whim, swaps places with fiesty Derenda, who expects her husband to fend for himself. In accordance with the rules of the show, Derenda has to learn to abide by Bonnie's rules for a week, which should result in a few fireworks. The whole thing might be in terrible taste, but since when has that stopped us?
» FELLED! Desperate Housewives, Channel 4, 10.00pm
Continuing the audio theme for today, that faint squelching sound you can hear is everyone at lowculture wetting themselves in anticipation of the series premiere of Desperate Housewives tonight. Suburban housewife Mary Alice kills herself, and then narrates the sad stories of her former friends from beyond the grave as their lives muddle on and fall apart. Look out for Teri Hatcher and Melrose Place's Marcia Cross in starring roles. We would also like to applaud the scheduler who placed this directly after Wife Swap: inspired.
» WELD! Flashdance, BBC One, 11.35pm
Since ITV1 had the monopoly on gay-friendly TV yesterday, the Beeb hits back tonight with everyone's favourite musical drama about a welder who dreams of being a professional dancer. Even if that doesn't appeal to you, watch it for the heinous 80's fashion, most notably Jennifer Beals in a restaurant wearing the front and cuffs of a tuxedo shirt, yet seemingly having left the rest of the shirt at home. Yowza.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS :: MERRY CHRISTMAS! :: TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS :: TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS :: NEW FACES :: TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS :: TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS :: FUCK ME FACTS! :: Dear Jesse :: TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS ::

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