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TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS

All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Thursday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» SHAME! Murder, She Wrote, BBC One, 2.35pm
In today's episode, Jessica crosses paths with an old friend who denies ever having met her before. For most people this might seem unusual, and possibly even somewhat offensive, but look at it from this perspective: almost everyone Jessica befriends ends up either dying or being accused of murder. Armed with that knowledge, we suspect you'd keep your distance as well...
» NAME! The Hairy Bikers' Cookbook, BBC Two, 8.00pm
To be perfectly honest, we know little-to-nothing about this particular show, but with a title like that there was no way we were going to let it slip under the radar. So, imagine we said something witty and relevant about the content, and then just watch it regardless. Much like you probably do with all our recommendations, to be fair.
» FAME! Celebrity Big Brother Live Launch Show, Channel 4, 9.00pm
We've almost gone three weeks without a reality TV show of some kind, so another one was bound to crop up before long, wasn't it? In this case, it's a welcome return for Celeb Big Brother. We have no idea who the celebrities are going to be, since Channel 4 are, perhaps wisely, keeping their identities under wraps until they enter the house, but this is watercooler viewing of the purest variety.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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