Thursday, November 11, 2004
TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS
All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Thursday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» BIG YAWN! EastEnders, BBC One, 7.30pm
It's an hour-long "special" last night to celebrate the return of Dirty Den. Please forgive us if we respond to that prospect with an unequivocal "botherd" and a side order of "whatever". Also coming home tonight is gymslip mum Demi Miller with daughter Aleesha Beyoncé. Snore. Forgive us, but we can't help thinking that the whole comedy naming-babies-after-popstars thing was done with far greater finesse by Coronation Street several years ago. Must try harder.
» NEW DAWN! Blackpool, BBC One, 9.00pm
One of BBC One's more bizarre autumnal offerings, this is a much-hyped attempt to establish Blackpool as the Las Vegas of north England. Good luck with that. This will be notable mainly for the musical numbers, where the characters lip-synch merrily to Martika classics (we hope). The preview clip we saw some months ago looked a bit ropey, but amongst the cast are Cutting It's Sarah Parish and Coronation Street's Georgia Taylor, so it stands a reasonable chance of being a lowculture hit. Just don't mention Cop Rock, whatever you do.
» TO THE MANOR BORN! What The Butler Saw, Channel 4, 10.00pm
In what sounds curiously like a reversioning of US reality show The Family (screened a few months back on LivingTV), a family from south-east London come over all Audrey fforbes-Hamilton and establish themselves as lords of the manor, not realising they are secretly being judged by their staff. There's a £50,000 prize available for the winner, but we're not entirely sure how one wins something like this. By being nice to the servants? Or by getting into character and being jolly beastly to them? Worth a look, anyway.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.