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All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Sunday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» NEW STUFF! The O.C., Channel 4, 2.10pm
Despite what Channel 4 might claim, this is not a new series, but rather the second half of the first one that they've only just got around to showing. Whichever series it is, you can be sure that there will be hyperbolic teenage angst aplenty. It just goes to show, your teenage years can still be hell even when you're digustingly rich and privileged. Are we feeling sorry for any of them yet?
» QUITE BUFF! Heartbeat, ITV1, 8.00pm
In a matter not unlike Casualty, the new series of Heartbeat begins what seems like about two weeks since the last one ended. Stepping into the frame as buff new bobby on the beat PC Rob Walker is, appropriately enough, former Casualty token-gay Jonathan Kerrigan. Also supplied: one probably-anachronistic sixties soundtrack. Surely it should be at least 1972 by now?
» CAN'T GET ENOUGH! Little Britain, BBC Two, 10.00pm
Yes, it's a repeat, but even repeats of Little Britain are still far more entertaining than most of the other crap that's on tonight. Tonight, not-very-good transvestite Emily Howard goes into hospital for an x-ray (and proceeds to explain her "ladies testiclés"), while Daffyd The Only Gay In The Village goes for a haircut, only to find that the new hairdresser is a gay. A gay hairdresser? Whatever next? They'll be letting them become air stewards next.
And nurses. And television presenters. And then where will we be?
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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