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TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS

All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Wednesday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes - the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» FREAKY! My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance, Channel 4, 8.55am
We just can't keep our eyes off this show. When we heard that it featured a girl trying to pretend that an uncouth, overweight, flatulent nightmare was the love of her life in order to win $1 million, we thought it might be mildy diverting. When we realised that Randi (the girl in question) had no idea her fiance was an actor doing everything he could to scupper her chances, we realised it was evil television of genius proportions. Today, Randi's family arrive and are appalled. We'd feel sorry for them, but since they called their daughter "Randi", they probably had this coming.
» SNEAKY! Coronation Street, ITV1, 7.30pm
Karen's disappeared, and that can only mean one of two things: either there's a sale at Thresher's, or she's more upset about her mum's death than she's letting on. Maya's up to no good (who knew?) with Sunita's birth certificate, and we'll be checking to see if they've removed the teeth marks from the set after Antony Cotton's scenery-chomping turn on Monday.
» CHIC-Y! The L Word, LivingTV, 10.00pm
Luggage? Lunch? Latitudinarian? Or something to do with ladybummers? The latest in a long line of hot US imports on Living, this glossy new show aims to do for lesbians what Queer as Folk did for the boys; in other words make it look exciting, hedonistic and immeasurably cool. We'll be tuning in for Tammy Lynn Michaels, formerly of Popular and real-life dykeon, in a recurring guest role.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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