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TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS

All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Saturday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» WITCHY! Charmed, five, 7.00pm
Phoebe's agonising about whether she should marry Cole, so she summons her past and future selves to help her decide. Hold on a minute: would you really need anyone to talk you into marrying Julian McMahon? We. Don't. Think so. Oh, and Paige gets promoted. This storyline does not involve Cole, so we do not care.
» ITCHY! The Worst Jobs In History, Channel 4, 8.00pm
Yes, it's a history programme, but don't let that fool you. This is one of those programmes that pretends to be all intelligent and worthy, but in reality is just an excuse to watch Tony Robinson pulling rats out of haystacks and smothering peasant's cottages in horse poo. We've got our money on Sales Assistant for Gap taking the top spot.
» BITCHY! Casualty, BBC One, 9.10pm
It's the end of the series at Holby City Hospital once again, so you know what to expect: births, deaths, marriages, explosions, natural disasters, and plane crashes - and that's just the private lives of the hospital staff. Simon and Lara are getting hitched, only Lara finds out he's been cheating and decides to tell him exactly what she thinks of him. Whilst he's at the controls of an aeroplane. Yeah, that's going to end well. Casualty season closers are always a must-see; this is no exception. Unplug the phone, shut the curtains and avoid all non-crucial distractions (yes, this includes your family).
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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