Friday, September 17, 2004
FUCK ME FACTS!
It's Friday, September 17, which is a very good thing. But we've given up on finding a new outfit for this wedding-of-strangers we're attending tomorrow. Only one question remains: How much should I chip in for the present?
» Researchers at the University of Florida claimed swearing could relieve stress today in 1996. And why do you think the Fuck Me Facts lady looks so happy?
» A year to the day later, and one Florida resident had obviously failed to heed the research. She was charged by police after throwing a cricular saw, a telephone and frozen chicken legs at her boyfriend. Hang on, we find it hard to believe she did that without letting slip at least one naughty word.
» An auction of items from the first series of Big Brother saw the purple diary room chair secured by comedian Alan Davies today in 2000. He narrowly beat a bid from Nasty Nick.
» Living in town? Drunks stumbling past your window, singing? What's their tune this evening? Three years ago it was DJ Otzi and Hey Baby, which was at number one in the charts. And tonight, it's STILL fucking DJ fucking Otzi and fucking Hey fucking Baby. Ooh, fucking ahh.
» Happy birthday to: The original Mrs Robinson, star of The Graduate Anne Bancroft (73), silver fox Des Lynam (62), leaping Prodigy shouty bloke Keith Flint (35), and singer Anastasia (31? And the rest, we're sure . . .).
» Unrelated fact of the day: In the late 1950s, Lassie's salary topped $5,000 per week. We forget how Lassie left our screens. We imagine there were strikes over demands for more pay and an horrendous crack habit, all ending with a seedy incident down an abandoned well.