All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Monday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» OLD, IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE! As Time Goes By, BBC1, 7.30pm Catch up with what Jean and Lionel were up to in 19-fucking-95. We know it's the middle of summer, but surely BBC1 can do better than this in prime time?
» SHOCK! Waking The Dead, BBC1, 9pm We find this fairly incomprehensible, but lots of people seem to like it, so you might want to tune in for this, the last episode of the series. Something very nasty is going to happen to Mel...
» CRASH! Bad Girls, ITV1, 9pm Last week saw Karen Betts return as some kind of Matalan-clad crack whore, so who knows what delights are in store for us tonight. We do know that Kris and Selina's story is set to take a tragic twist, and there is also the small matter of the impending nuptials of Fenner and Di Barker, so it's unlikely to be dull.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.