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TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS

All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Wednesday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» DICE! Hell's Kitchen – School Reunion, ITV1, 9.30pm
Did someone say "hastily commissioned cash-in"? If they did, it certainly wasn't us. In this spin-off show, Jennifer Ellison and James Dreyfus must prepare a meal for 250 fussy pupils at Gordon Ramsay's old school.
» SLICE! Nip/Tuck, Channel 4, 10pm
In a simply delicious twist of fate, Dannii Minogue's ex-husband stars in this US hit as a plastic surgeon.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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