Monday, August 23, 2004
We know what you're thinking.
"Our lives are a total mess, and there's nobody who can help us."
Well, as of today, that's only half true. Because, although you're all still fucked up, help is at hand – in the unlikely form of Joan Rivers.
lowculture reader James, who wrote with the happy news, is interested and repulsed in equal measure.
"Not complete with hawking some of the most hideous jewellery seen on TV since Mr T married Pat Evans in one of those Eastenders Soap Bubbles (or was that just me dreaming?), "they" have given Rivers her own late night talk show."
Yes, the queen of bitching about what other people are wearing at big ceremonies is taking a well-earned break from pushing her cheap tat on QVC to tackle a new project, in which she will turn agony aunt to solve the many problems of Britain's youth.
The producers of the show, which is being made by Graham Norton peeps So Television, have been lurking in the shadows of gay "youth" websites, inviting their readers to write to Joan with their deepest, darkest secrets. We're almost certain, though, that their aim cannot be to recruit only the most confused and vulnerable young bummers, then poke fun at their insecurities for the amusement of a raucous studio audience. That would clearly be wrong.
So, if you feel you have the kind of problem that only Joan Rivers could solve, or you just want some kind of tasteful and reasonably-priced mother of pearl brooch, drop an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.