It is almost too heartbreaking to write about – almost – but we could not let the announcement that Vicki is leaving EastEnders pass without some sort of tribute.
Yes, everyone's favourite whining, manipulative, many-accented soap brat will be taking the black cab of shame out of Walford later this year.
"I've had a really good two years," said "actress" Scarlett Johnson, "and enjoyed all the experiences, but it's time to move on."
Less generous commentators might argue that it was time to move on around two years ago, but we would not be so unkind.
Scarlett's exit, coupled with the likely departure of Letitia Dean's Sharon and what we will graciously call the Leslie Grantham "problem", will no doubt cause producers a major headache. Head honcho Louise Berridge has often said that a strong Watts family is central to her vision for the soap, and without a few more long-lost children crawling out of the woodwork, or perhaps the return of Angie as a drunken agent of the undead, that strategy is pretty much dead in the water.
They must have their fingers, toes and pretty much everything else crossed that people warm to the new pikey Miller family – and that they manage to tempt as many of the Mitchells as they can back onto the set.
Come on, Babs – they need you!
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.