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All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for FRIDAY. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» DOPPELGANGER! Father Dowling Investigates, BBC1, 2.35pm
Only four words needed to persuade you to watch this episode – Father Dowling's Evil Twin.
» POP-ELGANGER! Top Of The Pops, BBC1, 7pm
The TOTP team decamp to Gateshead for a summer special. It's an hour long, it's outside, and it features Natasha Bedingfield, Busted and lots of others. It will also be one of your last opportunities to mock Tim Kash, as he's been given the boot.
Sam plans to flee to Ireland disguised as a comedy vicar. And Nicola is as gutted as one of Simon's fish when he tells her where to stick their relationship.
» SNIP-ELGANGER! EastEnders, BBC1, 8pm
Chrissie isn't the most rational person at the best of times – we would think twice about going to her to get our tresses trimmed even if we hadn't recently been knocking off her husband. Unfortunately, Kate HAS been knocking off her husband, and Chrissie has finally realised what has been going on. And she's planning to take her revenge – with bad hairdressing.
» Are we missing something great? Or even something rubbish – we're honestly not fussed! Click on the comment link below and tell us all about it.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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