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TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS

Tanya's been off having her roots done for the last week or so, but – hooray! – she's back now. Our Tiny Tanya Turners show just how low each show goes – the more a show scores, the more mental it is.
» I DO! (I THINK) Happy Days, Paramount, 10am
Another crazy episode from after Happy Days had turned to shit. There's nothing like a good wedding to boost falling ratings, so the producers decided that Ritchie should marry his childhood sweetheart, Lori Beth. The fact that Richie was no longer in the show did not cause as many problems as you might first expect – the bride ends up marrying him by proxy, with The Fonz as the stand-in groom. Nuts!
» MOO! Hollyoaks, Channel 4, 6.30pm
Rubbish gay Nick must choose between bumming and farming when his mother pleads with him to take over the family business.
» BOOM! The Bill, ITV1, 8pm
The team will have to work hard to beat last night's brilliant episode, in which the ever-splendid DS Nixon dressed like a cheap slag to tease a confession out of a serial rapist. Luckily, we already know that the cliffhanger saw a bomb go off in a community centre – with the Superintendent trapped inside – so the signs are good.
» CHEAP! The Biggest Slags In Britain, ITV2, 10.30pm
Three Leeds lads with loose morals and loose belts confess that they've had 450 one night stands between them – and they're on the prowl for numbers 451, 452 and 453.
» Are we missing something great? Or even something rubbish – we're honestly not fussed! Click on the comment link below and tell us all about it.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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