All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for TUESDAY. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» LEGAL! The Courtroom, Channel 4, 4pm Who cares what it's about today – the important thing is that one of the guest stars is an actor who goes by the splendid name of Fine Time Fontayne. Could he be related to Playtime Fontayne from Viz?
» CLASH! Wife Swap, Channel 4, 9pm We're putting this in chiefly as a reminder for ourselves, as we keep forgetting it's on. Tonight's episode looks good, though, as the fake mum tries to get some particularly bookish children out of the house and mixing with people their own age.
» GLOSSY! Absolutely Fabulous, UKTV Gold, 10.55pm Edina and Patsy hold a book club with a difference (they're reading Hello! magazine) in one of the better episodes from the most recent run.
» Are we missing something great? Or even something rubbish – we're honestly not fussed! Click on the comment link below and tell us all about it.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.