All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Tuesday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» EXTRA-LOOSE! Loose Women, ITV1, 1pm Two of entertainment's more desperate figures, Claire Sweeney and Jane Macdonald, make up the numbers on today's panel, bumping up this show's regular rating by at least one Tanya head.
» WHOOPS! Head Jam, BBC2, 7pm We thinke we were supposed to write something about this on the website ages ago when they were looking for contestants, but forgot to do any such thing. Sorry if we have inadvertantly robbed anyone of their 15 minutes of TV fame. It's a pop culture quiz based around how much useless information people can store in their heads, and one of our favourite TV people, Paddy O'Connell, is one of tonight's guests. Hooray!
» INTRIGUE! Holby City, BBC1, 8pm Holby's splendid new überbitch, Connie, continues to bewitch the stupid men of the hospital. This week, Rick is horrified to find that Zubin is falling under her spell.
» SOLO! Wife Swap, Channel 4, 9pm This week's posh wife is in for a nasty surprise – her counterpart is a lesbian single mum, so she doesn't have a husband!
» Are we missing something great? Or even something rubbish – we're honestly not fussed! Click on the comment link below and tell us all about it.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.