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THE TERMINATOR TAKES IT

Tired, washed out and with a glazed expression, trainee policewoman Clare woke from a short slumper last night to find herself the winner of Shattered and £97,000.
After a week of sleep deprivation, the three finalists spent their last few hours in the lab under cosy duvets in a darkened room.
Each drained the little that remained of their energy reserves in an attempt to stay awake the longest and claim the cash prize.
We have to admit we weren't holding out to much hope for Chris, who has struggled the most to keep his eyes open over the last couple of days.
But much to our surprise, it was Jonathan who succumbed to slumber first, albeit only a staggering quarter of a second before Chris did.
Naturally unaware of how her companions were doing, Clare kept her eyes open for just under two and a half hours (!) before she, too, nodded off.
All three looked quite spaced-out as they were awoken and brought through to the studio to find out their final placings.
And we feel Chris may be slightly remorseful over his tirade about Jonathan earlier in the day after he's had a full night's sleep.
But on the whole, we were impressed with the show, particularly as it provide little scope for it to be a battle of egos between the contestants.
Dermot even tried a Springer-style final thought moment, which was unfortunately drowned out by the audience's applause.
One thing's for sure, it's certainly whetted our appetite for this year's Big Brother, which is sure to appear to last a lifetime in comparison.
Not that that's a bad thing, necessarily.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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