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Slim pickings

RUBBISH! Three Fat Brides, One Thin Dress, Channel 4, 8.00pm

Three Fat Brides, One Thin DressAnd the award for Most Morally Reprehensible Programme Title goes to... oh, wouldn't you know it, something with celebrity poo-poker Gillian McKeith in it. What are the odds? (Also, we can't begin to express our glee at finally being able to write about that woman without needing to write Dr in front of her name, even in ironic quotes. Hurrah! How does it feel to be down with the rest of the plebeians, eh lady?)

This probably won't do anything to quieten the recent accusations that Channel 4 is lacking in class and far too dependent on puerile "shock" programmes for ratings, but what-ho. Essentially this is You Are What You Eat with a more pronounced deadline, and if you can't quite figure out the variation in the format from the title, then you probably got your doctorate from the same place that Gillian got hers.

While we should add here that we're in no way mocking the desire to pursue a healthy lifestyle (indeed, we're going on a diet-and-gym routine ourselves, having noticed that we're developing something of a gut, so we'd be the last ones to criticise), we still maintain a sincere disdain for Gillian McKeith and her "I will shout at you, demean you, berate you and shove mung beans into your nostrils while you're sleeping" approach to diet management. One of these days her clients will tire of her shrewishness and trample her underfoot while revolting to the burger van, you mark our words. Either that or poetic justice will be served when she's on the receiving end of some other harridan's abuse on Celebrity Coprophilia Challenge or something.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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