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EURO! The Eurovision Song Contest Semi-Final, BBC3, 8.00pm

EurovisionCall us sentimental traditionalists if you like, but for us Eurovision has never quite been the same since SM:tv got axed and we were robbed of the opportunity to hear the "na na Europop, dingle dangle wingle wangle" song on the corresponding Saturday every year. That was awesome. We'd rant about the indignities that Cat Deeley has been reduced to since those glory days, but that's for another time, and another angry post about American Idol.

So, Eurovision then! Not the main event yet, obviously, because that will be on Saturday, but the semi-final in order to determine which eager countries will be triumphant in securing one of the ten remaining places in the big event. And at this stage, we'd like to thank our lucky stars that the sheer amount of money the UK puts into the contest guarantees us a place every year, otherwise we'd probably be quite screwed by now. Either that, or it would have persuaded us to finally send an act with some small hope of winning, it's hard to tell.

Last year we didn't bother to watch the semis, a decision we regretted the very next day when we learnt we had missed the awesomeness that was Silvia Night. We'd urge you to learn from our mistakes on this one, frankly, because you don't want to miss the drag-tastic Danish entry (even though that concept's a bit old hat now, isn't it?) or the swirly arm dancing of the Estonian entry, which sounds a bit like the cuttings of Kelly Clarkson's studio floor. If Kelly Clarkson were Estonian. Possibly. Also, we like this little nugget from the official Eurovision website, on the selection of the hosts: "The work group preparing the selection at YLE processed very many names of individuals and couples, from which Jaana PELKONEN and Mikko LEPPILAMPI were selected after long deliberation and even camera tests." Even camera tests, eh? They really pulled out all the stops! Good work, though, because both hosts look quite fit, which is a bonus. Off we go to Europeland, then. Get your voting fingers ready.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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