Monday, April 02, 2007
Without a Trace
VERDICT! Coronation Street, ITV1, 7.30 & 8.30pm
"Oh noes!" the more internet savvy of you are probably crying at this point. (The rest of you are probably just shaking your head in concern about the sliding standards of grammar in today's Britain, and wondering if it's really acceptable to be grammatically suspect in this fashion, even if you're only doing it ironically.) "Haven't you wittered on enough about Tracy bloody Barlow's bloody trail already?" And to be honest, we might say yes: the lovely, admirable and talented Nick covered it in great detail here and in all fairness we don't have a great deal to add, but the verdict of arguably the most important soap trial of the century will be returned today, and what kind of soap-revering blog-cum-website would we be if we let that pass without any kind of comment? A frankly substandard and irresponsible one, is the answer.
It makes for quite a nice change to have sat through a soap trial, knowing for once that The Accused was (a) guilty as sin, (b) acting in a deliberate, calculated and premeditated fashion and (c) not trying to frame someone else. Well, not technically. Can you really frame someone who's deceased? Is it still framing if you're falsely claiming that they drove you to kill them in self-defence? Is it a sign of our rapidly-diminishing mental dexterity that we initially wrote "soap defence" there? We'd have to hire a lawyer to be certain of the answers to any of these questions (even that last one), and we can't afford one at today's prices, unless we phone one of those ambulance chasers who advertise on ITV2 in every daytime ad break, and there's always something hidden in the small print with those, isn't there?
But we digress. While we might have prayed for justice to prevail and for Mandy and Beth Jordache when they stood trial for the slaughter of abusive father and husband Trevor, or for Little Mo Mitchell standing trial for the attempted murder of abusive husband Trevor (we're beginning to see a pattern here), there are probably quite a few people who secretly want to see That Bitch Tracy Barlow finally get hers. We wouldn't be surprised if some of those people turn out to be members of Tracy's own family. But what will the verdict be? Tracy's announced that she's not sticking around the cobbles whatever the outcome of her trial, so Kate Ford's impending exit can't be used as any kind of clue (or can it? Buggered if we know), but either way twelve of Weatherfield's finest will be slapping some more mayonnaise on the club sandwich of justice tonight and deciding whether Tracy Barlow's future revolves around freedom and an inevitable trip somewhere to the south, or jostling for top bitch in an offscreen tribute to Bad Girls. We're on the edge of our seats.
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I'm so glad she went down in the end. Watching the 'exclusive alternative ending' on t'internet was a rather big let down. It was, frankly, rubbish.
Having missed quite a lot of Corrie of late, I have one question. Did David get his end away?
By 1:03 pm, at
I don't actually know. I closed my eyes and wailed whenever the plot went in that direction.