Tuesday, March 27, 2007
SHOWBIZ! Get Your Act Together with Harvey Goldsmith, Channel 4, 9.00pm
Sometimes we wonder if the TV eavesdrops on our private conversations - and we're not just talking about all those times back in the early days of lowculture where we were convinced that TiVo thought we were gay judging by the way he used to leave Abercrombie & Fitch posters lying around the kitchen and repeatedly suggest that we might like him to record a variety of interior design programmes for us (remember those days? Weren't they great?). But no - we think Channel 4 in particular was eavesdropping during the many conversations we had wondering what had happened to Irish R&B sensation Samantha Mumba.
Indeed, over on the messageboards just the other day, La Mumba's name was invoked as a potential new judge for The X Factor on the grounds that she'd be able to advise the contestants on what it feels like to be a successful pop star with the world at your feet one minute and be languishing in complete obscurity in the next. We never did come up with a reason, but like with so many things in life, we tended to blame Louis Walsh's incompetence for the situation. That's served us well in the past.
Anyway, top rock promoter Harvey Goldsmith reckons he can do a Gordon Ramsey for various entertainers whose stars aren't flying as high as they'd like, and before he gets to the boring people who never even got to famous in the first place, someone had the immensely wise idea to centre episode one around the attempts to organise a comeback for someone we've actually heard of: the aforementioned Samantha Mumba. Can we expect a smash-hit single to follow the likes of 'Gotta Tell You' and the frankly immense 'Always Come Back To Your Love'? Well, it's not outside the realms of possibility, but we're probably not going to hold our breath just yet, as death by asphyxiation has never really appealled... (not that we trust Wikipedia too much, but 30 tickets? Ouch.)
À propos of nothing: wasn't the dance routine to 'Always Come Back To Your Love' utterly craptacular? We're going to learn this in our spare time this week like the lame-os that we are...