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Take these docs away from me

KENSIT! Holby City, BBC1, 8.00pm

Last September, Sadie King didn’t leave Emmerdale in a little plane with Cain Dingle after kidnapping her father-in-law and pretending to get shot, but she did leave Emmerdale, and soap fans would have been forgiven for thinking that they’d seen the last of the character, that the programme would carry on pretty much as it had before and that not very much had really changed, whether for better or worse. Nonetheless, tonight we finally get to find out what happened to Sadie after Cain left her, penniless and alone, on that remote airstrip in North Yorkshire.

Poverty has done Sadie the world of good. Left with nothing but the clothes on her back and a pair of gigantic eyes, she’s fallen back on her natural resourcefulness, reapplied her lip gloss and headed for Holby City Hospital (via the Persian Gulf). Of course, Sadie’s reputation precedes her, so she’s been forced to adopt a new identity and reinvented herself as Faye Morton, a seemingly nice nurse with gigantic eyes, clothes on her back and a gaping, Dubai-shaped hole in her employment records.

Sadie's first day basically involves a lot of hanging around trying to get the generally appalling Holby City staff to give her a job, and, with gigantic eyes being in short supply among the current cast, they do just that. Cleverly, her extensive Yorkshire-based exploits and back-story aren’t referred to at all this week, leaving the casual viewer as much in the dark about her self-serving, double-crossing, money-grabbing past as her new colleagues.

Elsewhere, it seems that the Kensit-sized salary has eaten into the props budget, with a couple of bargain-basement sub-plots involving elastic bands and scratchcards, and probably some more scenes with that smug new surgical consultant trying to turn the car park into a putting green, or whatever it is he's always doing out there. But most eyes – gigantic or otherwise – will be on Sadie, with viewers wondering how long we'll have to wait until the warm, compassionate exterior slips and we’re treated to an icy glimpse of soap’s twenty-seventh-or-eighth Best Bitch Of All Time’s true character and motives. Of course, a little surgery on her name blows the whole façade apart already: simply splice the new alias together with her old name and what do you get? Faye King! The mysterious woman is Faye King, everybody! As Betty Eagleton might say: we've got the measure of you, lady.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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