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Ain't no party like a Butlins party

You would think, would you not, that the number of people who wake up of a morning and think "Hmm, I think I might just book a weekend at BUTLINS in Bognor Regis, the better to enjoy performances by Chico, the Cheeky Girls and Chas and Dave" would be surprisingly few. Well, you'd be wrong. Apparently.

All this week, the sinister overlords behind the holiday camp chain have been putting just such a diabolical temptation in LOWCULTURE's path. ONE BIG PARTY promises "big name original bands" (including an ABBA tribute band and one of 2 Unlimited) and "comfortable accommodation just a short stroll away" – presumably just outside the Butlins complex.

If that's not up your street, you could go for DISCO INFERNO, which offers one member apiece of Boney M, Rose Royce and Shalamar, with Sinitta thrown in too (although possibly only the top half of her). Sheer excitement prevents us naming the line-up of SOUL WEEKENDER EXTRA, but the actual list is unlikely to be any better than the one you make up in your actual head.

So far, so LOWCULTURE - and with prices starting at "just" £59, the offer becomes ever more irresistible. Plus, any enterprise that keeps the bailiffs from Mama Cheeky's door for another couple of weeks has to be worth putting your hand in your pocket for.

Get it booked right now at the Butlins website.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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