Monday, February 13, 2006
The bitch is back
JANICE! America's Next Top Model, Living TV, 9.00pm
We're only four episodes in, and already America's Next Top Model has brought the drama to its fifth cycle. So far we've had the lesbian adventures of Kim and Sarah (brought to a premature end by Sarah's elimination in last week's episode), The Cutting of Cassandra's Hair, which provided so much drama we felt honour-bound to capitalise it, especially since it led to Cassandra Walking Out of the Competition, back to a life of pageantry and hair extensions back in her hometown of Whereveritwasville in the state of Wedon'tcareanymore, and that's without even mentioning Lisa's increasing descent into utter lunacy and the elimination of Ashley and Ebony at judging.
As much as we're enjoying this series, though, there's one crucial thing missing. There just isn't enough bitching on the judging panel, despite the addition of the eternally queeny Miss J Alexander to the group. Twiggy smiles too much, and is too nice, and tries too hard to believe that any of these girls have a hope of sustaining a modelling career. No one is there to tell the girls they look fat, or like they have a penis, or like an amputee. In short, we miss the fabulous Miss Janice Dickinson who could always be relied on to provide a barb or an unsympathetic shoulder for the girls to cry on.
But what's this? Why, this week's guest photographer is none other than Miss Janice herself. Anyone who's read Janice's autobiography No Lifeguard on Duty (and if you haven't, we strongly recommend that you do because it's fabulous) will know that Janice built up a professional reputation as a photographer as well as a model, and tonight she's going to put these bitches through their paces. We can't wait. Oh, Janice, we missed you so.
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3 Comments:
Girl on Janice kissing... "Do you know why I coined the term Supermodel? Because I could."... "Are you a lesbian?" "Yes." "Cool."... "I'm sensing a little bit of attitude from this one..."
I ask you, does TV get ANY better than this? All my Valentines cards are going to Janice this year, no question...
PS - Is it just me or does Twiggy sound inordinately like Nicki Chapman from Pop Idol? (and is just as bland...)
By 
, at
9:27 am
I know. Blanddy.
Lisa is incredibly annoying.
By , at
4:51 pm
Lisa should go boil her own head.
Oh, and I forgot... Fit Nigel was a model??? Need more photos. Now.
By , at
9:57 pm
