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You know we belong together

SUDSY! Home and Away, Five, 6.00pm

With the axe swinging viciously over Family Affairs, what better time is there to get reacquainted with Five's other (and vastly superior, but sshhh, don't tell anyone we said that), Oz latherfest Home and Away? A lot's been happening in Summer Bay recently; indeed, dare we say it's even giving Neighbours a run for its money in the drama stakes? It doesn't have Izzy, of course, but it does remarkably well considering.

Poor Sally (whose norks have been the subject of considerable discussion over on the messageboards, and to those people we say: do you not realise how many shirtless men you're missing when you're ogling Sally's baps?) is in hot water after student Diesel (is he a boy, or a tank engine?) alleged that they'd been having an affair when really Sally had just been giving him a little bit of extra-curricular tuition of the non-Mrs Robinson variety. Sally had Social Services come to investigate whether she might be interfering with her foster children, just as Coleen dragged Ric through the door and informed Sally and Flynn that she'd caught him in possession of marijuana. There were perfectly logical reasons behind that scenario, but it doesn't look good all the same. This week, Sally's job at the school is on the line yet again. Can somebody give her a break, please? The poor lass looks virtually suicidal.

Buff Ric's attempts to keep doe-eyed Matilda out of trouble failed somewhat parlously after she was doped after attending a party with Callan (which is about as much of a real name as Diesel is, but we'll let that go), and got into the wrong car. Now the hunt is on for Waltzing Matilda before she comes to any more harm. Today, a girl is spotted in a shack, but is it her?

Our cousins down under are the original experts when it comes to hilarious mix-ups, so expect plenty of high jinks this week as both Leah's and Dan's mothers arrive in town to "help" organise the forthcoming nuptials. Is that the sound of a battleaxe or two? And we thought they were all too preoccupied in the cast cull at Family Affairs...

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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