Thursday, October 27, 2005
Ooh, what a lovely pair!
CUTE! Hollyoaks, Channel 4, 6.30pm
We don't think it would be massively unfair of us to say that the only time Hollyoaks normally moves people is when it moves them to vomit, in its function as both Sunday morning hangover TV and arguably one of the most frustrating TV programmes ever made. Call us crazy, however, but we think they might have got one thing right: getting Cameron and Steph together.
We've always liked Cameron, with his slightly baffled expression and the niceness that means he really doesn't belong in this programme at all; we still maintain that he's meant to be with Bella, but since the producers wrote her out, deciding in their infinite wisdom that Dannii "Boring, One-Note And Can't Act" Carbone was a better bet character-wise, we've had to let that go. We've not always been Steph's biggest fan, but she's been more bearable lately, particularly since she's been going out with Cameron.
Bizarrely, although they're currently in that sickeningly tactile early stage of their relationship, we find it quite endearing, and we can't remember the last Hollyoaks couple we could say that about. Certainly not Mandy and Tony Hutchison, whose baby has our deepest sympathy, or Justin "Rebel Without A Shave" Burton and Nicole "Idiot, Plain And Simple" Owen. And don't even get us started on Ben and Johnny Vegas - sorry, Ben and "Lisa". But with Steph and Cameron there's actually some chemistry in there, so long may it last. Tonight, Cameron tries to get Steph to tell her mum about their relationship.
In other, boring-plot news, John Pickard goes to visit Mandy in hospital to find out why she isn't bonding with her new baby. Ostensibly she's suffering from post-natal depression, but we haven't ruled out the possibility that she's still just a massively self-involved hag. Also, Louise makes things difficult for Dannii, but they're both entirely pointless and irritating, so we will be making tea during those scenes. Aren't we due some new gays by now, incidentally? Someone has to carry on the "grand" tradition of Bazz FM and Gay Nick, after all.