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Izzy, whizzy, let's get busy!

BEAUT! Neighbours, BBC1, 1.40 & 5.35pm

It's been a great couple of weeks in Ramsey Street, with the return of some much-loved old characters, either in the flesh or in video form (or indeed, in the case of Nicola Charles, in video form with a worrying amount of flesh) and some excellent storylines simmering under all the nostalgia.

Our favourite plot of recent times has been the tragic downfall of poor Izzy Hoyland. "Hang on a minute," you might think. "Mr Writer, why don't you tell it like it is?" And instead of slapping you upside the face for quoting the Stereophonics at us, we would concede that calling the lying, scheming, manipulative shrew "poor Izzy Hoyland" seems a little naive on our part.

The thing is, we absolutely adore Izzy. She is by far the best thing to have happened to the show in a long time. Her unpredictability, her tangled webs of lies, her tendency to push people down the stairs and then not only leave them unconscious but also frame them for burglary...watching all those 20th anniversary clips you just knew that when they come to celebrate the 30th anniversary, if there is any justice in the world a large percentage of the clips will be devoted to Miss Isabelle Hoyland.

Anyway, today in Erinsborough, the proverbial shit is heading right for the proverbial fan for Izzy; not only does Karl tell her that she has to blow town (not like that, although we wouldn't put it past her), but Lou overhears her talking about her affair with Paul, leading Izzy to contemplate whether blackmail is really such an ugly word. Personally we think that Izzy and Paul need to get married and breed the next generation of evil together. That would be awesome in so many ways.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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