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Stephinately worth watching (sorry)

CRIZAZY! Emmerdale, ITV1, 7.00pm

Continuing our week-long soap special, we now turn our attention to Emmerdale. We hadn't quite planning to do an entire week focusing on soap's best crazy bitches, but it looks as though we're heading that way, because tonight's storylines are Steph Stokes-centric.

Steph, for the uninitiated, thought nothing of keeping her father drugged up and locked in his bedroom while she took over his businesses and tried to convince him that he was insane and that his girlfriend was dead. It turned out that his girlfriend wasn't dead, so Steph promptly followed her to Scotland and pushed her off a ferry.

Sadly, this all happened months ago and Steph has been disappointingly respectable (well, by her standards at least) since then. She has, however, been getting quite close to Dr Adam Forsythe and tonight they're heading to the Woolpack for a cosy dinner for two. They head back to the B&B for a nightcap, and while Psycho Steph is slicing a lemon WITH A BIG KNIFE, Adam sneaks up and kisses her neck from behind. Which is an entirely sensible thing to do to a woman of Steph's reputation while she's armed.

Seriously, it doesn't take a genius to figure out what happens here, but it'll be fun to watch. In other, less-psychotic-and-hence-less-exciting news, Debbie thinks everyone's forgotten her birthday, and Tom invites his sons to come and live with him. Yawn. Back to the crazy lady, already!

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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