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Sex, lies and PVC

A BIT OF A DRAMA! Desperate Housewives, Channel 4, 10.00pm
The end of the series is nigh (we've got a double bill next week to round it off, folks - woo!) but there's no sign of the pace of life slowing down in Wisteria Lane, even if Mary Alice's narration continues to be soporific. After the horror of discovering last week that Tom's young, nubile ex is back working in his office, Lynette decides it's time to spice up her marriage - rubber French maid's outfit, anyone? She could perhaps get a few lessons in kink from reluctant dominatrix Bree, although to be perfectly honest, with the way he's been looking ill and lethargic lately, we suspect Rex is not quite so voraciously sexual as once he was. Gabrielle breaks the news to Gardener John that he may be the father of her unwanted foetus, and he takes it with all the maturity that you'd expect from an 18 year old - about as much as Gabrielle, then, and we all know what a hissy fit she threw. And Susan may finally be rid of her mother, and may also get some news on the Mike Delfino front. Good Lord, Susan, it's practically Christmas for you!

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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