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Feline fine

KAT'S BACK! EastEnders, BBC1, 8.00pm
"Kat Slay-uh, is our sista! Kat Slay-uh, is our siiiiiiista!" Imagine if that were true. Then our other sister would be our niece, and there'd be a harrowing two-hander in which that tender fact was revealed. And we might be having an affair with our brother-in-law. Anyway, having disappeared for five months owing to a plot contrivance we don't remember being shoehorned in at the last minute to give Jessie Wallace some extra time for maternity leave, Kat is making her return to Albert Square tonight - well, sort of. She's not in the Square, she's in the slammer. Big Mo also happens to be in prison, visiting one of her shady acquaintances, and happens to catch sight of her granddaughter lurking in the shadows. Thus begins the return of soap's orangest lady (which is, by the way, such an intensely fierce competition that it's actually held twice a year), which is all very well and good, but we want to get past this to the bit where she finds out her mousy sister is having it off with Kat's husband. Then? It is on.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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