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TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS

All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Tuesday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» HUBBY! Emmerdale, ITV1, 7.00pm
The lowculture team are digging out our plumed hats and donning the battle armour again, which can mean only one thing - it's soap wedding time! Yeehaw! "Sweet" Charity Tate is set to make her second trip up the aisle, this time with Tom "If I Were A Rich Man, I'd Have All The Money In The World" King, but she reckons without the intervention of the marvellous "Marquis de" Sadie. We can't wait.
» CHUBBY! Celebrity Fit Club, ITV1, 8.00pm
You'll be hard pushed to find a gayer hour of television anywhere else tonight - not only do this year's Celebrity "Not Fat" Fit Clubbers feature such showbiz luminaries as Julie Goodyear, Kym Mazelle, Lizzy Bardsley and soap queen Tina Baker, but the whole thing's being presented by Dale Winton. Looks like fun, but we can't help thinking that drill instructor Harvey looks like a pussycat now we've seen Little Britain's Marjorie Dawes in action.
» GRUBBY! Shameless, Channel 4, 10.00pm
The Gallaghers are back, and it looks like they haven't allowed success to refine them. Tonight, Frank's father turns up to admire his new grandchildren and is appalled by Frank's general behaviour, and Veronica's mum Carol appears on the scene to throw her hoof in exactly where it's not wanted. This was one of the best things on telly last year, so we've got high hopes for the new run.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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