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All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Wednesday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» LEAVING! The Bill, ITV1, 8.00pm
It's the end of an era tonight at Sun Hill - Sgt June Ackland is retiring. We're going to miss her somewhat chronically, because she's always been a bit of a favourite. This being The Bill, of course, it's unlikely that her retirement party will consist of a whip-round, a couple of drinks, and a leaving card with a bunch of flowers. If it wasn't for the fact that another fire at the station isn't due until Christmas, we'd assume that was going to happen tonight, so instead we'll just tell you to expect a lot of unexpected heartbreak and bitter recriminations. Happy retirement, June!
» HEAVING! Bricking It, Channel 4, 9.00pm
Sort of a Jamie's Building Site, only with the notable absence of Mr Oliver, this sees ten teenagers who have never held down a steady job getting to work on building a luxury apartment in the hope of learning some valuable trade skills, and quite possibly, a few valuable life lessons. These being sulky kids, of course, they're not going to be extremely grateful for the opportunity, but will instead whinge about the long hours and the hard graft. Honestly, kids today.
» DISBELIEVING! The Catherine Tate Show, UKTV G2, 9.20pm
"I got this note to bring you. Yeah, but am I bothered? Am I bothered though? Does my face look bothered? Does my face look bothered? Does my face look bothered, though? Are you disrespectin' my family? Don't you go disrespectin' my family! Did you just call me love, though? I'm not your love, though! Am I bothered? Do I look bothered? Is my face bothered?" etc.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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