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All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Friday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» UNPOPULARITY! Hollyoaks, Channel 4, 6.30pm
Ever since we saw that decomposing hand in Bombhead's living room the other week, we've been counting down the days till someone uncovers it and forces him to explain the reasons for his strange behaviour (TM Duran Duran). It looks like that pleasant duty will fall to Lee "Class Clown - Well, Without The Class" Hunter and vacuous girlfriend Stacey as they look for somewhere to copulate in private. The filthy swines had it coming, really.
» CHARITY! BBC Children in Need, BBC One, 7.00pm
Oh, don't look at us like that, it's all for a good cause. We have to give our props to whoever scheduled the evening, because their sense of occasion is immaculate - we start with the things that people might actually want to see, like McFly, a special Blankety Blank, and the stars of Coronation Street performing in Oliver!, then later there's the less enticing stuff, like Girls Aloud singing 'I'll Stand By You' (we love the Aloud, obviously, but the rest of their album knocks spots off that track) and Big Mo from EastEnders getting a What Not To Wear makeover, and finally the truly hideous parts after the news, including the BBC Newsreaders as Duran Duran and Amanda Holden singing an Aretha Franklin soul classic. Shudder.
» VULGARITY! Peep Show, Channel 4, 10.00pm
Last week's opener proved that this off-the-wall sitcom has lost none of its (admittedly dubious) charm, so make this a weekly appointment. Tonight Mark makes a new friend for the first time since 1996, only to discover that he is a weekend Nazi, and Jeremy gets an invite into the world of the media from somebody he used to bully at school. Could this be his big break? Don't count on it.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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