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TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS

All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Tuesday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» DIVINE! Joan of Arcadia, LivingTV, 8.00pm
Quick question for the viewing audience: at what point did we become complete devotees of LivingTV? It's meant to be a channel for women of a certain age, or so we thought, and now it suddenly starts getting us onside with loads of great shows: Charmed, The L Word, Joan of Arcadia...okay, maybe not great shows, but shows we love all the same. Tonight, God tells Joan to throw a party. Excellent. We can get along with this kind of God much more easily than we could with the one who, y'know, apparently wants to smite the homosexuals.
» SIGN! The Smoking Room, BBC Two, 10.00pm
Two words that strike fear into the heart of any office employee - "team building". Sharon has planned for a rousing weekend of paintball to get everyone working for a common goal, or thinking outside the box, or whatever. Unfortunately, Janet's spellchecker neglects to tell her that she's actually made a sign-up sheet for "Pantball", and the only people who want to come are Mickey Mouse and Gareth Gates. We don't see what the problem is, think of the stories you'd have after spending a weekend with those two!
» COMBINE! When Jordan Met Peter, ITV2, 10.00pm
Phew! Thank God. If it wasn't for ITV, God only knows how we'd have got an insight into the daily life of this retiring, publicity-shy pair. Now correct us if we're wrong, but didn't a lot of us already see what happened when Jordan met Peter? Wasn't it all broadcast as part of the last series of I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here? Oh, whatever. You're going to watch this anyway, and you know it.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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