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All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Thursday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» FLASH! Crossing Jordan, ITV3, 9.00pm
Not, disappointingly, a vitriolic documentary on what happens to people who get on the wrong side of the UK's favourite glamour model, but a glossy US series about a police medical examiner. Think of it as Silent Witness with conditioner. This has already aired on the Hallmark Channel, but since ITV3's off to a pretty good start, it might get a wider audience. We've not seen it, though, so we can't tell you whether it's more Tru Calling than True Crime, but it should be worth a look.
» BASH! Hex, Sky One, 9.00pm
Sky's much-hyped attempt to create the British Buffy hasn't been an unmitigated success, with its tendency to end up more Hollyoaks than Sunnydale, but the viewing figures have been strong, so someone must be enjoying it. Tonight Cassie tries to stop destiny. We thought the whole point of destiny was that it couldn't be stopped? Stupid girl; she should try stopping density instead.
» CLASH! Not Under My Roof, BBC Three, 10.30pm
A culture-clash doc from BBC Three that sounds promising, this time dealing with parent/child relationships with vastly differing ideologies. This week it's the turn of the capitalists (parents) vs. the hippy (son Giles). It sounds cheap as hell, but this is lowculture, so what do you expect us to be directing you towards?
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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