(function() { (function(){function c(a){this.t={};this.tick=function(a,c,b){var d=void 0!=b?b:(new Date).getTime();this.t[a]=[d,c];if(void 0==b)try{window.console.timeStamp("CSI/"+a)}catch(l){}};this.tick("start",null,a)}var a;if(window.performance)var e=(a=window.performance.timing)&&a.responseStart;var h=0=b&&(window.jstiming.srt=e-b)}if(a){var d=window.jstiming.load;0=b&&(d.tick("_wtsrt",void 0,b),d.tick("wtsrt_","_wtsrt", e),d.tick("tbsd_","wtsrt_"))}try{a=null,window.chrome&&window.chrome.csi&&(a=Math.floor(window.chrome.csi().pageT),d&&0=c&&window.jstiming.load.tick("aft")};var f=!1;function g(){f||(f=!0,window.jstiming.load.tick("firstScrollTime"))}window.addEventListener?window.addEventListener("scroll",g,!1):window.attachEvent("onscroll",g); })(); lowculture: WE HAVE LIFT-OFF!

WE HAVE LIFT-OFF!

No time for a full Big Brother update today, but there is time to tell you that a poll has been running on the lowculture messageboard to decide how Kitten should be removed from the house in the event of her eviction.
Putting her out with the bins was considered too lenient, as nobody voted for that option at all, although 2% of voters thought she should be ejected via the rubbish chute.
Our preferred option (firing her into space) tickled the fancy of 3% of you, while 5% would like to see her thrown, bodily, over the perimeter fence.
Meanwhile, 7% thought she should be turned into a living statue, like Doctor Who's Lord President Borusa from out of The Five Doctors, destined to look out onto the garden for all eternity, unable to move or speak.
The most popular option, though, was her removal by means of a giant catapult, which the other housemates would presumably enjoy loading up with her scrawny frame.
Thanks to Kitten's bad behaviour, one housemate is now due to be evicted from the house, which seems a bit unfair, and the sight of the whinging cow trying to absolve herself of responsibility for her actions last night was rather unsavoury. Hopefully whoever gets the boot will also get the opportunity to take a terrible revenge on the scraggy moggy.

By Paul :: Post link :: ::  
0 pop-up comments :: Discuss on messageboard

Links to this post:

<\$BlogItemBacklinkCreate\$>

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Tiny things for you to watch:

* To open in a
new window,
click anywhere
EXCEPT the icon.

messageboard

Your views from our forums. Click on the quote to join the discussion.




About Us

According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

GET IN TOUCH:
Click here to email.

La Vida Lowculture