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All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Friday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» BEGINNINGS! Big Brother's Little Brother, Channel 4, 8pm
If there was ever a night to sit in and watch telly, this is it. Unfortunately, we are actually going out, but our trusty TiVo will be recording everything for posterity, starting with this. The BB spin-off show switches to Channel 4 this year, and starts with this look around the new-look house, as well as a sneaky peek at the mad and desperate at the BB auditions. And Dermot O'Leary, of course – there are plenty of us who would tune in to an hour of him standing in silence against a black backdrop, never mind any of the other stuff.
» ENDINGS! Friends, 9pm, Channel 4
Unless you've been living on the moon, it can't have escaped your attention that this is the final episode. Even if you have been living on the moon, you would probably still know about it. We've seen it, and it's great – although not quite as good as the last Sex And The City (possibly because Rachel doesn't get her tits out in the last scene, like Samantha did).
» IN! Big Brother, 10pm, Channel 4
OK, we might love Dermot, but there's no disguising the fact that his programme is just a warm-up for the main event. And this is it, as Davina McCall shouts a lot to mart the arrival of new batch of housemates. In case you have forgotten, the first week of Big Brother is always very annoying, as it's just a camera pointing at a room full of people you aren't interested in, all of whom are talking at the same time. Watch it with the sound down and some soothing music playing. Perhaps a bit of Dido.
» Are we missing something great? Or even something rubbish – we're honestly not fussed! Click on the comment link below and tell us all about it.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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