Wednesday, June 02, 2004
RAGING FEMINISM VERSUS NAKED GIRL-ON-GIRL MUD WRESTLING
The Big Brother debate is raging every day over at the lowculture messageboard.
Yesterday, we asked you which of the BB girls were really starting to get on your nerves and, unsurprisingly, Kitten was the clear winner, with 43% of the vote (amusingly, Marco was in second place with 25%).
It seems like everyone's least-favourite useless feminist harpie is really starting to get your collective goat, if the comments people have been making on the board are anything to go by.
"This sixth-form, pitiful, so-called radical feminism and textbook rebellion is going to get ever so wearing within about three more days," predicted Sparkle. "What's even more distressing is that she will become the biggest celebrity and the most sought-after.".
The thought of Kitten revealing her diet tips over eight pages of Closer magazine might seem a bit unlikely at the moment, but could anyone have predicted that Jade would still be gracing magazine covers two years on? So who knows.
Kleeuk was even more scathing – he reckoned that "Big Brother is like the first week in a Halls of Residence where everyone has ADHD but has forgotten their Ritalin prescription", and suggests that Kitten probably smells of lentils and thinks she's a radical because her combats once brushed up against a copy of Marxism for Dummies in a second-hand bookshop.
The second most-hated girl who is actually a girl amongst lowculture readers is Michelle, who is not, it seems, without her knockers either – in more ways than one.
"Michelle is treating Big Brother as an audition to be a glamour model," raged Moondial, "and I wouldn't be surprised if she's the one that has sex in the Big Brother house."
"She was discussing last night whether her mud wrestling would've got her front page in the Sun if only she'd have gone topless. She even started inventing her own headlines."
FGtoH was rather taken with this year's concept of a cruel, vengeful Big Brother, and has a few suggestions to throw into the mix.
"Hopefully Kitten will persuade them to revolt and BB will punish them by leaving the alarm on for hours on end, depriving the house of cigs, booze and food, and then start with some random electric shock treatment from a variety of household furniture and implements – starting with the toilet seat."
Before Kitten accuses us of being sexist, we should point out that you're not all that keen on the boys either.
"How come no-one has had a go at the homophobic homosexual Daniel?" said Trollte. "He hates mincers and then he swishes in like some pseudo-catwalk model. I cannot believe he is the favourite at the moment. He is my most hated contestant. Kitten is annoying, but she is accepting of all the people in there (so far anyway... until Ahmed goes all homophobic – which he is clearly too scared to do in the face of such homo-ness).
"Nearly all of them are egocentric, big-headed wankers, except for Marco and Emma, who are too stupid to be any of those things, and Shell, who I think is genuinely nice."
What we really want to know, though, is who you reckon is going to be the first to get down to some dirty Big Brother shagging. Luckily, Michelle has already set out her stall in this respect, and has revealed she hopes to get "plumbed" by either Stuart or Victor. She's already been snuggling up to Stuart in bed as she attempts to relieve him of his pants. If she's already choking for a fuck after four days, the chances of her making it to the end of the week without a bit of how's your Big Brother, never mind the end of the series, must be slim.
» Join the debate so we can shamelessly lift your witty remarks for the website tomorrow. It's all happening here (registration required). Or click on the link below for instant commentary gratification.