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TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS

All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Monday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» SURPRISE! Hollyoaks, Channel 4, 6pm
The Hunter family must clear out Toby's mother's house, and Lee makes a rather gruesome discovery which will clear Dan's name – the rotting body of Toby's last victim!
» BUM ALERT! The Bill, 6pm, UKTV Gold
Another chance to see the one where PC Ashton gets caught in bed with a man on his wedding day.
» GRRR! Changing Rooms, 8.30pm, BBC1
Tonight's is one of those classic episodes where the smart-arse designer gets a strip torn off them for making a proper dog's breakfast of someone's room.
» SIZZLE! Hell's Kitchen: Extra Helpings: Final Serving, ITV2, 9pm
No, we're not highlighting this because we think it's going to be any good. It's just because we're astonished that they have managed to get two colons into the title – such an unfortunate achievement is definitely worth noting.
» Are we missing something great? Or even something rubbish – we're honestly not fussed! Click on the comment link below and tell us all about it.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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