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Poor old Jennifer Ellison has had a tough old time of late, when you think about it. Her pop career stalled before it really started – mainly because, although she has big tits, she can't actually sing. Although, admittedly, this has rarely stopped anyone before. Then her bloke got on the wrong side of some bad people, and some men decided to take pot-shots at her house, drive-by style.
And, on top of all that, it seemed as if the only work she could get was making a tit of herself on the Gordon Ramsay ego-vehicle Hell's Kitchen.
Happily, this is where it all started to go right for her. She proved herself to be an able and talented chef, and a very likeable person too. And lots of people clearly agree with us, cos she emerged as the winner. Hooray!
Given her unfortunate brushes with gun-totting gangsters, though, you would have thought that the producers of Hell's Kitchen might have thought twice about setting up some very loud party poppers behind La Ellison as part of the grand finale, thus sparing us the sight of the poor cow nearly jumping out of her skin when they went off with something of a bang.
» While out typing fingers are warm, it seems like as good a time as any to update you on the progress of Jennifer's TV husband Tinhead, aka actor Philip Olivier. In an extremely unlikely development, it seems that he's also landed a part as a Doctor Who companion.
Don't worry, though, they've not sacked Billie Piper already. Phil is appearing as Hex, who has joined old school time team Sylvester McCoy and Sophie Aldred (Ace) in the latest of a series of audio adventures. Yes, that's right, the fittest boy on Brookside Close is appearing in voice form only. What a waste.
Sophie Aldred was reportedly thrilled to have a new co-star – especially one who had never previously heard of Doctor Who and thought the TARDIS was a portaloo. And Philip himself seemed quite pleased too, even if he clearly didn't have a clue exactly what it was he was acting in.
"The script explained a lot," he told Doctor Who Magazine, "what the TARDIS is, how it works – and actually the title. I never knew why it was called Doctor Who, but obviously he's called the Doctor, not Doctor Who."

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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