Thursday, June 10, 2004
COMPACT APARTMENT, SHORT TERM LET AVAILABLE
Now things are getting interesting. Behold the tacky bedsit that will become the temporary home for two of the Big Brother housemates expecting to be evicted this week.
With Ahmed, Michelle and Emma all convinced that at least one of them faces being thrown back into the general public this Friday, we're quite looking forward to the sneaky plan to bung a pair of them into this secret room hidden within the Big Brother house.
» Sorrow! When the two evictees prepare for life outside the house just two weeks after the series started.
» Glee! When they realise they're not going to be evicted, but will instead spend the following week spying on the other housemates from the bedsit.
» Sorrow! When they see how small, garish and grim the bedsit actually is.
Okay, let's face it, it'll be Michelle and Emma that will be bunking up together - litterally - in this smashing one-bed apartment.
Thereafter, they will have the opportunity to praise or punish the others from afar before returning to the house, free from nomination for a week.
We personally hope Emma has access to a water jet in the toilet bowl to send an icy blast up Victor's hoop, while Michelle will no doubt be hoping for a rubber glove on a stick so she can grope Stuart from afar.
We know we've been fairly subdued on the BB5 front to date, but the first couple of weeks generally pass by without much consequence each year (Kitten who?).
But the sight of the hidden room, complete with patterened wallpaper and granny-style bed, has reminded us that the show usually has a trick or two up its sleeve - remember the rumours of a secret garden?
For the meantime, we'll reflect on just how much the bedsit reminds us of our first flat away from home.
We'll never forget the time the landlord came round to replace the ageing gas cooker with another ageing gas cooker, waving a lighter around the pipes to make sure the seal was secure. Or how we used to take the horrible green curtains down at night to provide an extra layer of warmth on the freezing bed.
We just hope Big Brother puts on a Rigsby-style voice when making contact with the new lodgers.