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Friday's Low Points

The schlock you won't want to miss today
» Bear in the Big Blue House 8am, Five ... Cha-cha-cha.
» Bruce Forsyth's Play Your Cards Right 7pm, ITV1 ... And the prize for 'Most Unexpected TV Comeback Of The Day' goes to ... this.
» Big Brother 8.30pm, 10pm and 11.45pm, Channel 4 ... It's evictions a-go-go tonight. We will actually cry if Fed gets the boot before he's got his kit off. The Australian Big Brother makes housemates take showers outside without a screen then shows the results in a XXX weekend porno special, which sounds like a good wheeze to us.
» Carry On Matron 10pm, Paramount ... Sid James and co mount a contraceptive pill heist. Matron is not amused. Nor, for that matter, is anyone else, least of all the viewers.
» Bo Selecta 11.10pm, Channel 4 ... Kerry McFadden is tonight's guest.
» Crackerjack 11.10pm, Challenge? ... And not just any old Crackerjack, oh no – they're doing it Stu Francis style. Let's hope the Krankies are present and correct.
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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