As anyone who ever watches TV will know, lesbianism is something women can put on and take off, like a favourite pair of dungarees.
It can be penis-a-go-go for years and then, suddenly, the urge to kiss another lady on the face becomes too strong to resist.
And so it will be for Debbie McAllister in The Bill, who is about to get intimate with newcomer DC Juliet Becker.
The tell-tale soap signals that give away their relationship are all there – they hated each other on sight, for a start, which is always a guarantee of an impending shag.
In a typical ITV cop-out, there will be no full-on lesbo action on screen. They they will probably stretch to a kiss, though, and even that has delighted saucy Rae Baker, who plays Juliet.
"Women's lips are soft, so it is nicer kissing women," she enthused. But it's not all good news for all you lesbian ladies – she's only playing gay.
"It was just a job," she said. "I prefer men."
Well, don't we all? Anyway, the scenes will be causing moral outrage in August.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
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