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My, my!

Will this pleasure never end? Yes, it's another batch of lowculture Eurovision verdicts ...

6) BOSNIA-HERZEGOVINA » Ne Brini? (Could It Be?) – Mija Martina
» THE WORDS...
Could it be, could it be, is it true?
I was fool that could die for you
Tell me, tell me, can't you see
You'll never die for me
» THE VERDICT... We are liking the sparkly frock and half-naked go-go boys in the video, but the song's a bit of a Euro-clunker.
» BET YOU NEVER KNEW... A glutton for punishment, Mija has attempted to represent her country twice before at Eurovision.

7) PORTUGAL » Deixa-me Sonhar (Keep The Dream Alive) – Rita Guerra
» THE WORDS...
Take the air that I'm breathin'
Empty all my life of rhyme or reason
Take away smiles and laughter, my heart and soul
You hold my destiny now in your control
» THE VERDICT... This song would like to think it's a big, dramatic ballad, but it ends up sounding more like a Celine Dion B-side. Very earnest, and very dull. It has 'important' guitars, and much finger-waving.
» BET YOU NEVER KNEW... Rita has performed every night at the Casino Estoril in Portugal for 14 years

8) CROATIA » Vise Nisam Tvoja (I Can't Be Your Lover) – Claudia Beni
» THE WORDS...
I Can't Be Your Lover, what we had is over
There must be another one for me
I need someone baby, who'll treat me like a lady
And make me feel so heavenly
» THE VERDICT... A rather half-hearted performance of a very odd little song, although it is notable for the appearance of a dancing conductor, who does all the same moves as the singers.
» BET YOU NEVER KNEW... Last summer, Claudia sang the Croatian World Cup football song, 'Croatian Women Love You'.


9) CYPRUS » Feeling Alive – Stelios Konsantas
» THE WORDS...
I'm feeling alive when you're looking at me
I'm feeling alive when you stand close to me
I'm feeling alive when you call out my name
So please tell me baby that you feel the same.
» THE VERDICT... Ricky Martin is soooooo four years ago, and even Enrique is past it now, so it's hard to work out why Stelios has decided to copy both of them.
» BET YOU NEVER KNEW... Stelios fancies himself as a bit of a heart-throb. Unfortunately, he's a bit of a moose.

10) GERMANY » Let's Get Happy – Lou
» THE WORDS...
Last night in the discotheque; All my friends seem to look and wait
Just lookin' for trouble cos everything's driving 'em mad
No fun - not a smilin' face; And down at heart in so many ways
Hey baby what's on and why's everyone so sad?
» THE VERDICT...
This is, essentially, the theme tune to the dreadful 1980s BBC children's programme, The Satellite Show, with a slighty updated drumbeat. The video is a cartoon, to disguise the fact that Lou is ancient.
» BET YOU NEVER KNEW... This song's written by the team who composed Nicole's winner, A Little Peace, in 1981. And 10million Germans watched Eurovision on TV last year.

11) RUSSIA » Ne ver', ne bojsia, ne prosi (Don't Belive, Don't Be Afraid) – t.A.T.u
» THE WORDS... (In their original Russian – Lena and Julia aren't going to sully their artistic integrity by translating them)
Kto-to zakrutit provod na klemy
Kto-to zamutit novye temy
Kto-to ponty a kto-to man'yak
Kto-to kak ty, kto-to kak ya
» THE VERDICT... It doesn't have much of a tune, really, but we quite like this one. The girls sound like they are terribly angry about something, as usual, and they could really be singing different words over the backing track for Not Gonna Get Us and nobody would be any the wiser. But it's t.A.T.u., so they can sing whatever they flippin' well like, can't they?
» BET YOU NEVER KNEW... The girls used to sing in a children's group called Naughty Girls before becoming the world's most famous faux lesbians.

» If you want to check the entries out for yourself, click off to the BBC Eurovision Website, then click back here, get busy with the comment link, and tell us what you think. And if you missed yesterday's verdicts, just scroll down a bit.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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