We've been working ourselves up into a frenzy at the prospect of another thrilling Dream Team season finale. In previous years, it has not been unusual to find us shouting at the TV in delight and frustration at the latest ridiculous cliffhanger.
So it's our sad duty to report that, in the end, this year's was rubbish. In an extremely unlikely turn of events, chairman Phil gave the club away in a raffle. Now we have to wait until September to find out who was sitting in the lucky seat, but we're finding it very difficult to care. Perhaps they won the plot in a draw as well?
It wasn't all bad, though – Lynda Block returned, as we predicted, and looked as good as ever, despite the prison clothes and dodgy fringe. And mad, bad Patrick Doyle ended up getting assasinated by some gangland hitmen. His body was found in the toilets by a cleaning lady, who looked completely unsurprised to find the blood-splattered former manager slouched on the throne with a bullet in his brain. At Harchester United, this kind of thing happens every other week (quite literally – Jamie Parker was shot dead further down the same corridor a fortnight ago), so perhaps her reaction wasn't all that surprising.
DT – you were a bit rubbish, but we still love you.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.