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Making our minds up (part 1)

So many dreadful Euro anthems, so little time. Let's get stuck in to the first batch of lowculture Eurovision verdicts, while we still have the strength ...

1) ICELAND » Open Your Heart – Birgitta
» THE WORDS...
Open your heart, show me the pain, show me who you are
Tell me your dreams, your hopes and your fears, just open your beating hear to me
» THE SONG... Worryingly, Birgitta looks like a cross between Hayley Evetts and Tracy Shaw. The song's slightly dull, but she gives it plenty of welly, so it could do OK. There are also some great jumpers in the video.
» BET YOU NEVER KNEW... Birgitta is Iceland's top popstar.

2) AUSTRIA » Weil Der Mensch Zählt (Man Is The Measure Of All Things) – Alf Poier
» THE WORDS...
The difference between animals such as apes and primates
Is no bigger than between noodles and pasta
But whoever want to know more about animals should study biology
Or inform himself on my homepage.
» THE SONG... This is, apparently, a 'hymn for individualism and against collectivism". Calling it a song would be being over-generous, but we're assured it's not supposed to be serious. We do quite like the bit where he rocks out in the middle, though. And his dancing skills are clearly the equal of Timberlake's. Sort of.
» BET YOU NEVER KNEW... Alf is a former chimney sweep, and someone who looks suspiciously like his mother can be seen in his backing group.

3) IRELAND » We've Got The World – Mickey Hart
» THE WORDS...
We've got the world tonight – let's hold on together,
And we've got a love that's right, so open your heart.
» THE SONG... If you liked Fly On The Wings Of Love, which was a winner for the Olsen Brothers in 2000, chances are you will like this too, as it's worryingly similar – although the all-powerful European Broadcasting Union have cleared the songwriters of any wrongdoing. Unfortunately, just when you think the chorus is about to soar into greatness ... it doesn't. But it is a song you can march to, which always goes down well with us.
» BET YOU NEVER KNEW... Mickey won the honour of representing Ireland in a Pop Idol-style TV competition judged by Kerry Katona.

4) TURKEY » Every Way That I Can – Sertab Erener
» THE WORDS...
I feel you're moving on a different cause
Making a way for a distant course
You say you love me and you roll your eyes
Turn to stare at the empty skies.
» THE SONG... It's desperately trying to be Kiss Kiss, but it doesn't have the kissing, so it doesn't quite work. Lots of writhing and belly dancing in the video, which the boys will like. Well, not boys like us. But you know what we mean.
» BET YOU NEVER KNEW... Sertab has sold over 4million records in Turkey.

5) MALTA » To Dream Again – Artist
» THE WORDS...
Summers roll and winters too
Yet my feelings for you stay true
Now I'm helpless as you just drift away from me
I miss you.
» THE SONG... Will it be second time lucky for Lynn? She was beaten into second place by Dana International in 1998, and this year she's got a pair of shouty Russian lesbians to contend with. As we revealed earlier, she's got a huge nose, and a big voice. And a not-very-good song – a tepid ballad that never gets above second gear. We don't think it will be her year.
» BET YOU NEVER KNEW... Last year, the Eurovision Song Contest got 90% share of the TV audience in Malta. They fucking love it in Malta, and would crawl over broken Euro-glass to host the contest.

» If you want to check the entries out for yourself, click off to the BBC Eurovision Website, then click back here, get busy with the comment link, and tell us what you think.

By Paul :: Post link :: ::  
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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