The schlock you won't want to miss today
» Jenny Jones 1pm, Sky One ... "You Used to Call Me Lame, but Now This Sexy Shorty's Got Game"
» Crossroads 5pm, ITV1 ... Only two weeks to go, and we feel we must warn you now that we're going to highlight this every day until it ends. Tonight, Kate tells Angel she's planning to steal her husband, and we travel back to the 1970s to find out the real story of Max, Kate, Angel and Ethan Black.
» TOTP2 6.45pm, BBC2 ... A bumper helping this week, with an episode every night – and there's top stuff in most of them. Tonight, you can enjoy Abba's Dancing Queen – but make sure you avoid the stray Toploader clip.
» Liquid Profile 7.30pm, BBC Three ... Tonight's subject is Lance 'I'm Not Dead, Or In Space' Bass. Mercifully, the programme is only 15 minutes long.
» Liquid Eurovision 8pm, BBC Three ... The countdown to Eurovision begins in earnest today with the first of Lorraine Kelly's ace preview shows (although the countdown actually began for us in the very first week of lowculture back in January). She will be examining the songs in an intelligent and meaningful way, reflecting on their political and cultural significance. Or, possibly, slagging off the outfits, dodgy tunes and big noses. Repeated at 12.30am.
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.