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Am I Mingram?

With only days to go before the only reality TV event worth watching this year (Phil who?) gets underway, we are already anticipating the usual round of former Big Brother contestants crawling out of the woodwork.
Oddly enough, the only housemate who still (sometimes) manages to raise a lowculture eyebrow will be otherwise engaged filming another real life show for Channel 4.
Yep, we will soon be invited to enjoy a mouthful of reheated kebab as Jade Goody teams up with Millionaire cheat Major Charles Ingram for a celebrity Wife Swap special.
We use the terms "celebrity" and "wife" (in Jade's case) loosely, of course, although we're fairly certain there's no arguing about the "swap" element.
Other celebrities reportedly lined up for the series include Edwina Currie, and (naturally) Neil and Christine Hamilton.
While Ms Goody shares the Ingrams' upmarket family home in Wiltshire, her partner Jeff Brazier will be enduring the withering gaze of Diana Ingram in Bermondsey, south London.
We can imagine the level of chat chez Ingram already . . .

Jade: So, are you being paid a million to be on this program?
Charles: No, we'll receive a nominal fee.
Jade: What?! Like cats and that? Dahn't be stupid!
Charles: Sorry?
Jade: Why are you being paid an animal fee? I'm taking the money! Etc.

Meanwhile, somewhere in south London . . .

Jeff: Stop staring at me.
Diana: . . .
Jeff: No, really. Stop it.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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