The schlock you won't want to miss today
» Butterflies 1.30pm, BBC2 ... Tucked away in the lunchtime schedules is a repeat run of Carla Lane's 1970s sitcom, starring Wendy Craig about a woman who is sort of having an affair, but not really.
» Sailors Beware 1.45pm, Channel 4 ... The description 'musical comedy starring Peggy Mount' hardly inspires confidence, but you can never be sure, can you?
» Crossroads 5pm, ITV1 ... Kate pays a visit to her childhood den, and finds Max there waiting for her. They reminisce, Blazin Squad-style, about the night they fell in love.
» TOTP2 6.45pm, BBC2 ... The Human League! Spitting Image's Chicken Song! AND the Bay City Rollers. What more can you ask for?
» Emmerdale 7pm, ITV1 ... Andy's girlfriend is angry with him for being a homophobic wanker.
» Liquid Eurovision 8pm, BBC Three ... More Euro nonsense with Lorraine Kelly and her guests, June Sarpong and Simon Grant.
» Holby City 8pm, BBC1 ... Now that half the cast have been wiped out in various car crashes and other nasty incidents, we find out which of the remaining ones are pregnant by the dearly departed.
» The Simpsons 11pm, Sky One ... Homer invests heavily in pumpkin futures, but fails to sell before Halloween. Possibly our favourite episode ever.
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.