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Baby don't sing things that make me blue

Bloody hell – we're not even half way through. Oh well, we'd better get on with the next load of lowculture Eurovision verdicts, or the contest will have been and gone before we finish ...

12) SPAIN » Dime (Tell Me) – Beth
» THE WORDS...
Tell me what it is that I can do, how can I have you in my life
Let's forget yesterday and start again without lies
Tell me what it is that I can do, how I can have you in my life
» THE VERDICT... For the second year in a row, the winner of the Spanish version of Fame Adademy will be representing the nation. Heaps of Spanish guitars, with shades of Enrique, but a really quite boring song – and, after t.A.T.u, this might just get lost in the melee.
» BET YOU NEVER KNEW... 80% of the potential TV audience tuned in to Eurovision in Spain last year.

13) ISRAEL » Words For Love – Lior Narkis
» THE WORDS...
Deep inside I'm a romantic man
Trying to impress you playing superstar as Valentino
Everywhere I try to find the road
It's my way, I don't give up, I have to break your code
» THE VERDICT... This really has no redeeming features whatsoever. And, to make matters worse, Lior is wiggling his arse in a most unsuitable manner in the video. It's not even funny – they might as well not bother turning up, to be honest.
» BET YOU NEVER KNEW... Lior released his first album, Tfilat Chayay (The Prayer Of My Life) at the age of 16, and he's now been at it for ten years.

14) NETHERLANDS » One More Night – Esther Hart
» THE WORDS...
There's a bright light that shines upon us
A light as old as time
And there's a flower that keeps us growing
As long as we two rhyme.
» THE VERDICT...
If you can remember Michelle Gayle's Sensational, you might think this sounds a bit familiar. Sung by another random blonde girl with a decent enough voice, and it's quite up-tempo and uplifting, but it's not really doing much for us.
» BET YOU NEVER KNEW... Esther was supposed to perform in the British Song for Europe, but withdrew when she made the Dutch finals.

15) UNITED KINGDOM » Cry Baby – Gemani
» THE WORDS...
You're living a lie, you won't say goodbye
You just keep me hanging on
I've got my whole life to live, got more love to give
Got to get a life of my own
» THE VERDICT... Way back on January 27, we denounced all the British Euro-hopefuls as 'rubbish', with the notable exception of Gemini (as they were known at the time), whose song was "a half-decent Don't Stop Movin' rip off". We don't know what song we thought we were listening to, but it doesn't sound anything like Don't Stop Movin', really. It's still OK, though, and not nearly as annoying as it first appears. But will it do the business? Probably not.
» BET YOU NEVER KNEW...
Chris and Gemma are one of three male/female duos in the competition. The spirit of H&Claire lives on, in Eurovision at least.

16) UKRAINE » Hasta La Vista – Olexandr Ponomayov
» THE WORDS...
Can't you see the signs? I am yours, you are mine
You are saying goodbye, I know you are
Just don't cry, and don't like, to the voice of your heart
The tears in your eyes are so bright as stars.
» THE VERDICT... Aww, bless – it's the Ukraine's first time in Eurovision. And, unsurprisingly, it's just awful. The fabulously-named Olexandr has been voted Best Singer in the Ukraine and amazing seven times, which is an incredible feat when you consider that he doesn't actually seem to be able to sing at all.
» BET YOU NEVER KNEW... This is written by the composer responsible for Dana International's Diva. The video features Olexandr dumping his girlfriend's make-up in the sink.

» If you want to check the entries out for yourself, click off to the BBC Eurovision Website, then click back here, get busy with the comment link, and tell us what you think. And if you missed previous verdicts, just scroll down a bit, or check the archive.

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