The schlock you won't want to miss today
» Big Strong Boys 11am, BBC1 ... Featuring a new pair of Boys! And one of them is Craig Out Of Big Brother. Don't worry, though – the originals, Jake and Gavin, will still be popping up from time to time as well. Which is just as well, as the new ones are really annoying.
» Crossroads 5pm, ITV1 ... Bishop Black tells Young Max that he's evil. Everyone falls about laughing at the fact that Bishop Black's wife is played by Jane Gurnett, alias Kate.
» Will and Grace 8pm, LivingTV ... Karen purchases a gay horse who gives her advice on fashion.
» Liquid Eurovision 8pm, BBC Three ...With Sonia, Gina G and Jessica Garlick.
» The Matrix 9pm, Five ... Perfectly-timed repeat of the original film.
» White Squall 11.30pm, ITV1 ... A group of teenage boys undertake a voyage round the Caribbean that ends in tragedy. We remember going to see this at the cinema and it making us feel all funny inside.
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.